Causes of Stress: What causes your anxiety and stress?
Many people ask me what causes stress. And while I could run down a list of what some consider to be the “biggest causes of stress,” I can be more helpful to you if we discuss the reality behind how or why you feel stressed. A wise man once told me that, "Beliefs, not events, cause emotions and behaviors." What that means is that what we are telling ourselves (consciously and subconsciously) about a particular event will either create a stress response or it won’t. The event itself doesn’t cause stress, but if we believe that the event was bad, or awful, or unfair, etc. that will create stress. What you believe about life, the world, and things that happen to you and around you, and what you tell yourself about these things dictates whether or not you experience anxiety and stress.
Need an example? If your boss yells at you, that event itself doesn't have to be stressful. But if you believe that what your boss did was unfair that can cause you stress. Especially if you believe that it shouldn't have happened or that you didn't deserve it. The true causes of stress are your individual beliefs. This does not mean that your beliefs are wrong necessarily... we’re all entitled to have our own beliefs and opinions. However, if you have limiting beliefs that are causing you a lot of stress, it may be time to challenge them. It’s sometimes helpful to talk to a neutral party to help you discover and talk through other options you have rather than hanging onto beliefs that are a source of stress and anxiety in your life. So even if your boss yells at you and tells you that you are the worst employee that ever walked the face of the earth, you get to decide how you are going to feel about his/her statement. How you feel about that statement will be directly tied to your beliefs about it. You have the power and the right to change what you believe, regardless of the type of stress. You have the right to be happy and live a less stressful life. Can it be tough to change your beliefs? Sure it can. Some people find it easier to blame other people and events for their stress. I know it can be difficult to accept responsibility and learn to work on yourself rather than blaming others. It's easier to sit around and feel that we've been wronged or that life is unfair. The truth is that we all face
difficult situations
… it is a part of life. No one is excluded from this. I am no exception. You are no exception. Learning to challenge and change limiting beliefs will be one of the most powerful tools in your stress management toolbox. However, realize that even the best tool in the world is not going to eliminate all of your stress. So be sure to check out the other resources and tips on this site to learn other healthy ways to deal with your stress so that you can begin to live a happier and healthier life. Click here to read more about understanding stress from Helpguide.org. You may want to start by taking a look at the navigation buttons on the left to learn more about dealing with the events (and relationships) in your life that you may consider to be your biggest causes of stress and add to your toolbox by checking out some of the
stress management tips
and
relaxation techniques.
If you need more personalized help dealing with and managing your stress, find out how
a stress coach can help!
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