What are the causes of stress?

There are many different causes of stress as well as two main types of stress. But a wise man once told me that, "Beliefs, not events, cause emotions and behaviors." Stress is a state of mind, however, it can also be a state of physical body as well. And whether we like it or not, our causes of stress come from within.

But not my boss, the collection lady, or anyone else can cause my stress. They cannot make me feel bad or angry or sad.

Only I can do that. And only you can do that for yourself. This is true even when you're dealing with:

• Marital Stress
• Financial Stress
• Holiday Stress

Every morning when I wake up and get out of bed I tell myself that I have a 50/50 chance of facing someone who will try to upset me.

I tell myself that they don’t get to choose what I feel or how my mood is. But then I also have to tell myself that I don’t get to choose the mood of anyone else either.

Once I reconcile in my mind that I do not have control over what other people do or say to me or think about me, it makes it easier for me to realize that they don’t have control over how I take it. These people or these events are not the cause of my stress.

You do not get to decide whether or not your boss will be in a good mood or a bad mood when you go into work. And conversely, your boss does not get to decide whether you are in a good mood or a bad mood. Each and every one of us gets to make those decisions for ourselves and only ourselves. We decide our own causes of stress.

So even if your boss yells at you and tells you that you are the worst employee that ever walked the face of the earth, you decide how you are going to feel about her statement.

Do not give up the power of choosing your mood to someone else.

It’s irrational for me to think that I could even have that power over someone else. It’s also irrational for me to think that anyone else has that power over me… and it’s stupid for me to give that power to someone I don’t really even like. (I’m not saying I don’t like my boss, it’s just an example).

I’m lucky to have a good friend that tends to be brutally honest with me. Every single time that I come home from work in a bad mood, she reminds me that I have given away my power. I have let someone else decide what kind of mood I’ll be in. I give the power to someone else who chose for me to be unhappy. How silly is that? It’s ridiculous.

I sometimes choose to give my power to people who seem to like to be causes of stress and chaos in my life. Then I follow these stress reduction techniques to take that power back.

If you could choose what kind of mood you were in, what mood would you choose?

Would you choose to be stressed? Angry? Happy?

I’m sure you know what I’m going to say next… and it is true. You do get to choose your mood.

You do get to choose if you’re happy, mad, angry, or stressed. So assuming this is true (and it is), why would you choose to be stressed? Next time you are facing a stressful situation, I want you to seriously consider what I’ve just asked.

Why are you choosing to be stressed and miserable? Why are you choosing for this situation to be one of your causes of stress?

Remember, the causes of stress come solely from your thoughts or beliefs about what is happening in your life. You have the power and the right to change what you believe, regardless of the type of stress. You have the right to be happy and stress free.

So what are the causes of stress? Your own thoughts and feelings.

I know that there are some people out there who will challenge me on this. And I know that it is difficult to admit that you are causing your own stress. Especially if you are one of many stressed parents.

Some people find it easier to blame others for their misery. Some people feel that they deserve to live a different life than the rest of us and don’t deserve to face difficult or uncomfortable situations.

The truth is that we all face difficult situations… it is a part of life. No one is excluded from this. I am no exception. You are no exception.

I know this is a harsh truth for some people. I know because when this was presented to me for the first time, I fought it tooth–and-nail. I didn’t want to believe that I was causing my own stress and misery and my boss wasn’t. I was dead set against admitting that she wasn’t causing me to be miserable.

But the reason I finally accepted it is the same reason I want you to accept it. When you realize that your own thoughts and feelings are your causes of stress, you now have the power to change it. Realizing this and accepting it deep within your core will change your life, as it has changed mine.

I have the power and so do you.

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