Letter writing is an easy way to tell someone how you feel...

But writing a letter doesn't mean you have to send it!

Through letter writing, you are able to really stick it to that person who's been really horrible to you. You'll have the chance to say everything you've always wanted to say... and you'll feel better for getting it off your chest. That is, as long as you don't actually send it!

I have a small box that I keep just for those letters that I don't want to send. They are in envelopes and contain a single name... I have purposely not addressed them, in case they find their own way to the mail box some day

This is why I believe you should never type an email you don't intend to send. Letter writing can be very helpful in reducing your stress, but you don't want to create a situation which will make you nervous that your letter may actually reach the person you are writing if that isn't what you intend.

There are two types of letters: Ones you want to send and ones you don't.

letter writing

The reason you would want to write a letter that will not be received is because this gives you a chance to vent and be more honest...

You can say all the things you want to say but don't really have the guts to. This type of letter writing gives you the opportunity to be inappropriate and unprofessional without the consequences. So be careful about where these letters end up.

What I have done is designate a particular box to hold my "No Send" letters as well as my stress management journal.

I took a shoe box and decorated it with different colored paper... added some stickers and ribbon... and turned it into a pretty little box that instantly repelled my husband.

But you don't need to take the time to make or decorate your own box. All you need is a spot or a space to store your letters that will keep them private. You can use a drawer in your dresser, the trunk at the end of your bed... or whatever works and keeps these letters out of the mail and away from prying eyes.

Another way to keep these letters private is by putting them in an envelope and sealing them. If the people who you live with don't want you to know that they are snoops, they won't go to the trouble of opening a sealed envelope. You may also want to write something on the outside of the envelope that will help you remember what it is without making its contents seem interesting to others.

So what might these letters contain?

(Please realize that in all instances, I am referring to the type of letter writing that you would NOT want to send).

Letter writing is your chance to tell someone how you really feel. If you've never done this before, it may seem silly and pointless... but I assure you, it is not. Once you get these negative thoughts and feelings out in a manner that almost tricks your mind into thinking that you have gotten to speak your mind, you will feel better... but without having to apologize later.

Write your letter as if they were actually going to read it. Speak directly to the person your letter is addressed to.

letter writing

I once had a roommate that I was not getting along with and by the time I moved out, we weren't speaking at all. In fact, we have never spoken since. But after moving out, I had a lot of unresolved feelings because this person was once a very good friend. And even though our relationship, as well as the situation, had come to an end, I felt that I had more to say.

So I wrote her a letter. I wrote about everything she did and said that hurt me and I went into great detail to make sure I got to tell her everything I needed to say. Then I sealed it up and tucked it away in my special spot. That was the first time I had written a letter to someone in particular that I didn't intend to send... and I was surprised at how much better I felt afterward.

Even though I didn't say those things directly to her, by allowing myself to vent, I was able to finally close that chapter of my life and stop carrying around all the extra hurt. I left nothing out and no stone unturned.

With this type of letter writing, lay it all out on the line... put it all on the table. Then end it with your hopes for the future.

This will help you to begin to let go of any negative feelings you may be carrying around and move towards a more healthy relationship... whether it be with the person you are writing to, or others in your life.

To begin to live a less stressful life, it is imperative that you learn to let go of negative things and allow yourself to move forward. We cannot change the things that happen in our lives, but we can change the way we deal with them. Writing letters is one excellent tool that will help you with that process.

Who will your first letter be to?

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