Marital Stress Can be Overwhelming

However, marital stress can be conquered the same way any stress can be... by focusing on what you can do.

Many couples, new and old, experience problems in their marriage. It would be uncommon to find a couple who hasn't experienced stress in their marriage at some point. Don't panic... this is normal.

There are many different reasons why people experience marital stress.

This list could go on and on. And many couples experience more than one type of stress at a time.

marital stress

How can you begin to cope with marital stress better?

The first thing you need to recognize, and keep front and center in your mind, is that you have no control over anyone except yourself. If you want things to change, you need to change yourself... regardless of how right or wrong you think your partner is.

Making the decision to manage your marital stress better and working on your own issues has nothing to do with your spouse. So keep that in mind, and do this for you

Here's a secret:

When you begin to cope better, you'll become a happier, more balanced person. Those changes in your life and in you as a person will have an impact on others. Your spouse will begin to react to you differently... so instead of agonizing over how you can get your partner to act the way you want them to, focusing on yourself will get them to react to you in a much better way.

That is the most control you can ever hope to have over another.

marital stress

This is something I put to the test in my own life. My husband and I have experienced our fair share of marital stress. Early on, I would become angry and upset when I couldn't get him to see things my way or do things my way... and in turn, he would become upset that I was upset. Typical.

However, once I began to better manage my stress and our marital stress on my own, our interaction with one another changed... dramatically! And I didn't even have to give him a lobotomy. I don't even think he is aware of how much his interactions with me have changed.

On the other hand, if I had focused on the things that he did that needed changing, two things are almost certain. One: I would have created a lot of additional pressure in our marriage. Wrong or right, people don't like being forced to change or being told that they are even partly responsible for anything going wrong. And two: I wouldn't have accomplished anything because...

I can't change anyone other than myself... and attempting to do so is a frustrating and fruitless exercise.

marital stress

How do you begin to relieve your marital stress?

Find ways to cope with your stress. Manage your stress.

Once you regain some balance, your partner will notice. They will be more receptive to your ideas and you as a person. They will enjoy being around you more because you are more fun to be around when you're not miserable. So for you, it's a win-win.

When you're back on track, you will be more able to tackle those bigger issues that arise. Some issues, such as financial, will need some pro-active work. To be able to do what is required, you need to bring the best version of you to the table. You need to be up to the challenge and be able to focus on the issue... not focus on who is at fault.

By learning to work on you as an individual instead of focusing on how your spouse may need to change, you will be prepared to handle the other issues in your life and your marriage that need your full attention.

Need help coping with marital issues?
Check out these downloadable hypnosis audios from

Insecurity in Relationships
Love your Imperfect Partner
Put the Spark Back
Surviving Infidelity
Save Your Marriage

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Learn more about Dealing with Family Stress

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The information presented on this site is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition. Always seek the advice of your individual Health Care Professional.